I've just completed my second week of school, and I am already wondering why I chose the profession of teaching.
Unfortunately for my husband and friends, I got on my soap box last night about not knowing if I can continue this stressful life style for another 20-25 years. Just when I had convinced myself that I needed a new career, my friend said something that ticked me off, yet also put me in my place. She is still in college and is deciding on whether or not she wants to be a teacher. She told me in front of everyone else that she was thinking hard about choosing her career and she realized that she is, quote, "too smart to waste her college time and knowledge on becoming just a teacher". Woah, did that stop me in my frustrated tracks! In that glorious moment when I was about to jump across the table at the restaurant and poke her in both her eyes, I too realized something very important.
Teaching is what I love to do. There is nothing that brings me more satisfaction than reaching a child and making a positive impact in his/her life. I love sharing knowledge and love being a part of this changing society.
What I am truly frustrated with is the limitations that are placed on me with behavior. Our district has decided to do away with the "zero tolerance" policy, so there isn't much I can do to prevent the attitudes from controlling the class. We're pretty much being forced to keep all discipline problems confined to our classrooms (unless it is what "they" deem severe). As I said before, this is only the second week of school, and already I've had enough issues to make me wish it was summer again. I consider myself an EXTREMELY patient and understanding individual, and I have been complimented on the strategies I use with behavior problems. I NEVER send my students to the office unless fists actually fly. But it seems now that I know that there is no place for these severe problems to go, I am more frustrated with the students.
I didn't become a teacher to have students talk back when I ask them to do something. EX:
Me to student: Could you please have a seat so we can start class?
Student: I am gonna sit.
Three minutes pass................
Me to student: I asked you a few minutes ago to sit, could you please sit now?
Student: Why don't you come over here and make me? Come try and see if I'm gonna sit for you.
Here's another example:
I'm standing next to a very tall student (14 year old in the sixth grade), and I'm only 4'10". Tall students do not intimidate me, but they often try to, especially boys. Well, as I said, he's very tall and big. He randomly gets up and walks to the door to open it and look into the hall. I walk up to him after he's done this for the third time and--very kindly--I ask him to have a seat and stop worrying about the door and the hall because they will be there when class is over. He then stands right on top of me, towering over my short little body and says, "What did you just say to me?" Since his act does not intimidate me, I slowly move myself closer to him forcing him to back up a little and then press on with my nose in the air so I can see him and say, "Mr. _______, could you please have a seat so the class will no longer be disturbed by your movement?" He just stared at me for a minute as if to try to decide whether or not he would listen to me, but finally he decided to sit.
So, I guess what I'm trying to make myself understand is why I should have to be the one walking on eggshells with these kids. I'm the adult. I'm the one in the position of authority (although I don't believe in acting as a dictator, but instead as a facilitator). Why do they get to control how things go when it messes up things for the people who really want to be there? Why can't I just TEACH? Why can't parents do the job they're supposed to so that way their children are coming to school for an education, not behavior modification? Why am I held accountable for their screw-ups? I'm taking responsibility for my child, they should take responsibility for theirs. I want to do my job.